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You can only do so much and if they don,t want you in their life you just let go. Even tho you gave them ,first kiss and hug in their life.
Very painful!!! We can always love them from afar.. sad so many Families are disconnected.
I was never liked by my siblings or mom or my aunt's and uncles and I did just fine on my own and I love my life and happy I don't have there bitter heart's,because I love everyone!
If your family ignores you there is a reason. In my case they have purposely hurt there family members. They think they are always right in there actions no matter who they hurt in the process. They hold money over there heads as a reason to get the few members that have contact with them. If most your family doesn’t have contact with you take a look in the mirror and ask why and try and change you evil ways. My family used to be close and the adults stopped speaking and broke the whole family up because of there immature stubbornness and they just don’t see it and have continued to cause pain for others as there way of getting back. Simply pathetic
Then there is my case when your family is so toxic and narcissistic that it's best to cut them out of my life so I can save my sanity. Too bad it's made me the black sheep because those same family members play victim and cry to everyone else in the family blaming me for hurting them. That's what brought me to this post after that same person shared it on their Facebook page. Family doesn't mean a free pass for treating others like crap.
I love all who are my can't I don't hate on any one none of us are perfect and we are all equal to each other
Wow. Well, my daughter is ignored by half her family because she reported to a counselor that she was raped by her cousin. Police have proved it true. He was convicted. Yet, they don’t speak to her and have taken the rapist cousin’s side. Mirror? No.
I'm so sorry you have to go through this! It hurts but At least you see it & know it's not you're fault! ❤
I wake up every morning to a new day even though those around me have misguided reasons in their personal relationships. The choices they made is now they're fate. Some cannot deal with reaching the age of 50 and beyond. I have never been in incarcerated, no gangster tattoos and no physique like Arnold Schwarzenegger. It's the structure that I created for myself...
My husband is ignored by our daughters because he proudly told them he cheated on me. He expects us all to forgive him even if he has shown ni remorse. My daughters' reaction was to avoid him when he is around and talk to him only if he talks to them first. He was their hero and now they feel so betrayed. Ironically my husband has even turned the tables around us, telling my daughters: if you dont want me in your lives then i will just spend my time with people who want me in theirs!
I have alot of my family that I only talk to if there's like a death or something they never call me or invite me to
I dont seem to care about who gives me attention or ignore because, of being proud. The ones who matter to me is always there.
Yes, I think most families don't speak because we don't agree with them...I think if you are the type of person who believes, this is in my case anyway, in truth and you go against a family member they label you as the BAD one!! And yes to point out the truth in someone and the person is in denial about it, they are going to continue to be in denial and think you are the one in the wrong! Families are hard...and then when you get into extended families it gets harder!
I stop worrying/dealing with family members who are negative..this includes a sibling...life is just too short to engage...
I totally agree.
Sometimes you dont even know why you're being ignored😢
My 'so called family' treated me like that all my life. There are still some family members who STILL do and I'm 66 years old now. I had to emotionally let them ALL go at the early age of 7 because I never felt like I was part of them. And when I was 18 I "PHYSICALLY" able to leave them and get away from them. They were sucking the LIFE out of me and robbing me OF me. Everything I did was wrong, everything I said was stupid. When I was finally able to get away, I almost didn't even know who I was anymore. It took God and me a long time to work on me, but, we did it. And God and I continue to work on me every day. It's been years. And I think it's really sad that at the age of 7 I had to emotionally and in my heart, separate myself from the people who were supposed to love and care for me. It still hurts, but, I'm soooooo much stronger and I get stronger every day. I'm 66 now. P.S.: Sorry for the book.
As far as mine? They don't exist to me. Including my mom who's 85. My kid's father passed away a year March my stepmother and stepsisters showed up at his funeral my own blood family did not. My daughter got married in October and did not have her father to walk her down the aisle with that being said my daughter being the bigger person still invited my family to the wedding would say all replied denied. Even my mother denied her own granddaughter sub to me you mess with my kids you're dead to me
I'm so pleased to read this! I'm 53 and am still tied to some members of my family who treat me with disdain, mainly because I've always been the 'black sheep' in their eyes...... plus my disability is 'invisible', so they don't understand why I can't work and make $$$$ like them...There is hope yet xx
We are living the same situation. My husband's brother and his wife have made us so miserable that we distanced ourselves from them and they have run to Husband's parents bad mouthing us. We are now the outcast of the family. So sad.
Yes iv just had a family member send it to me also which is a joke as I was the only one in the family who stuck by her until recently. But I must now let go also for my own sanity!!
I know exactly what you are going through. I also seem to be the scapegoat for everyone else's bad behaviour. It's heart breaking but I have also had to walk away for my sanity. Still struggle to understand why they are like that I am fortunate to have a good husband and 2 grown sons who give me all the support and love I need. I wish you well for your future.
Plz don't write such messages they seriously gives traumatic shocks... of-course we might be sailinng in same boat if our storyline is simalier... but streamline of this beautful world is very well known to everyone that we are born to be as givers not takers... We all are living the life as if expectation has become the standard... forget it leave it start with what you have.. if your inner soul deserves eventually things will be cleared...
Amen! God says they may go astray but they will return.
To anonymous who commented on Feb.28th. The way people treat you really says more about them than you. People that cut off family are usually punishing them or judging them and have narcissistic and toxic behaviors. Don't blame the one who has been cut off. Don't blame the child for getting beaten, don't blame the women's clothing for getting raped. There are just hateful people in the world that feel good about themselves by hurting and brining other's down due to no fault of their own. I got tired of extending the olive branch only to get beaten down and rejected. I've decided to keep my peace and let them spin their stories and let them bathe in the toxic poison they were trying to drown me in. I go where the love is and give thanks for it ❤
Thank you for your insightful words.
I have dealt with abuse from my family before I was born. After the divorce and both remarried several years later I was kicked out of the family. It’s been 26 years and it still makes me feel like a 11 year old kid. I don’t know what or how to cope and deal with rejection, and why I was never good enough.
You are the reason for your problems in your family, it is quite clear to me, just by the way you generalize with STRANGERS. You have no clue what the rest of us face. Stfu with your hurtful words. WE ARE NOT YOU.
Same on me 😡😡 just disgrace all about themseleves own mother all brought up rough by after their dads death no more contact 2017 🖓🖓🚷🚷👊👊
Happening all too often immature stubbornness after deaths going so wrong pain other put you but no leader of family to stop them talk to them shut them up. Family discontinue call visit support more money they get hands on run away dont care only their own grand kids brwak hearts smelly farts inlaws blame too just as bad & public sector gov housing officers after your savings no call be this evil world ruin peace. The social media is the blame now technology work place professionals no real helping in hand inperson as once were mobile net social media have distroy nation. BE WISE AFTER LEADER DIES in family
I have been basically disowned. I did some things in my life I am not proud of. Trouble with drugs. However I am clean and working. I have a home and a wonderful husband who loves me mistakes and all. My own father ignored me when I tried to reach out on Father's day. I'm done. I have a younger brother who is the perfect child. So I will continue on with my life without any of them. I am proud of where I am in my life. Don't call me when you need something cause you will need me before I need you.
Sadly this happens in family situations where major issues like abuse, chemical dependency, and various other dysfunctional behaviors exist. These dynamics also occur consistently in families where money is valued more so than a healthy and supportive family unit.
I just loved reading these comments. It was as if the words were coming directly from me. And the last one from Buddysgirl. Fantastic. So many ignorant people not able to conceive the pain that comes with living with a dysfunctional and toxic family.
Sounds like you are the WHITE sheep of the family. Stay positive and move forward. Forgive but don't forget.
So true. I have had to disconnect from all family. The sad part is they are uneducated about mental illness I was recently diagnosed with. They don't even care or wish me well.
Hi all, let me into a little secret, the black sheep in the family, is more often the most brilliant, they literally shine, they are the most compassionate, the most out going, the most protective of their family, they are unique, and most often blessed with a fantastic sense of humour, please if like me you are a “Black Sheep”, then know you are blessed, and like me OWN that shit ! Life is fleeting, get up each morning and tell yourself that you may not conform to everyone’s ideas of what you should be, but this is your life and you will live it in the way you want to, Do Not Let Others Oppress You, Good Luck All You Black Sheep ��xx
So true. I know what it feels like.
What these family members do speaks more about the kind of people they are and says nothing about the kind of people we are. There are a lot of toxic people in this world, and yes, some of them are family members. There is no written law that says you have to allow them into your world. You don't have to invite them for the holidays, you don't have to send them birthday or Christmas cards. You are allowed to completely wipe them out of your world and that's perfectly okay because we all have to do what is most healthy for US and we don't owe anything to those who choose to criticize us, speak unkindly of us (to our faces and behind our backs), and do their best to make our lives miserable. Fact is, they're the ones who are miserable. I would insist though that if you are married and your spouse's family treats you with this kind of distain, your spouse needs to stand up for you. Ignoring bad behavior by one's family members towards your spouse is unacceptable. This should not be ignored and if it is, then it's time to sit down with your spouse and tell them that they are clearly not fulfilling their wedding vows.
I wish you the best. I too have mental illness but that's not why they have disowned me...its very strange, I'm not invited to Thanksgiving or Christmas but my mom wishes I would stop by more often.....
In my situation death of a parent divided a very loving compassionate family that was admired by all my friends. Very envious of the closeness that we shared. Fast forward, money.. yes the root of all evil.. divided the family.. I’d rather have my parent in my life than materialistic things.. very sad.. miss my siblings and have reached out numerous times to be shut down, hurt and rejected.. sad part is this also happened in MY family as well.. two siblings don’t speak.. due to actions of one.. I was wished dead, therefore the family doesn’t speak to this family member.. this member chose to be the misguided and “abused” family member that wasn’t loved.. (so not true) in their mind they felt the black sheep of the family.. however distorted stories to be the “victim” and the remaining family the bad guys.. life without this family member has been a very hard thing to accept and function during holidays, birthdays and the family gatherings. Very sad that when we are gone from this world.. the “black sheep” will have no family to turn to and this breaks my heart daily.. so I try to move forward each day and set one foot in front of the other.. I cherish every moment with my remaining family.. with hopes that maybe one day things could/would be different.. so sorry for the book but I truly can relate.. feeling like the lost sheep.. 😢
My daughter has just started to ignore me and wont allow me to know my 9mth old grandson all because her dad wont tell her the truth as to why we divorced, and she blames me, when he knows it was his fault. Its broken my heart, for 9mths,all because he doesn't want to tell her the truth ����
Families, gotta love them, but don’t have to be the recipient of bad behavior. I do believe what goes around comes around and just be the best you can be.
My Aunts who are my mother's sisters don't care for me. My mom's older sister and I had a big fight 3 years ago and she hasn't been talking to me even though I apologized to her. Then her younger sister just hates me. She doesn't like that I'm here living with my mom and her. I don't know what I did to her....its ok. I have my mom and that's what matters
I'm so sorry that your daughter has turned her back on you & is refusing to allow you to see your grandbaby. If this is still the case, I'd fight for your grandparents' rights! I'll be praying for you.
The lord,& others feel your heart with the love that your family had lost
Read God's serenity prayer & need it. Also life is too short to wish for what might have been & the things that you are not in control of & can not change. Rather look towards the future & dream of the things that can be. Love yourself & surround yourself with positive people, that you can love & have that love reciporcated. Be well!
I too have family that won't speak to me. After our parents died there has been no contact. I pray for them. I have forgiven them. I don't want any bitterness to make me feel hatred toward them. It is amazing to me that we were all raised with the same values but we behave very differently.
I was never close to any aunts, uncles, or cousins. Not estranged, we just didn't see each other much. They had their own families and my first cousins were a lot older than me so they weren't interested in keeping in touch. I saw them more before my grandma died. Haven't seen any of them since the 80's so it was just me and my parents. I'm an only child and my mother just died on Christmas. I take care of my dad who has dementia. Guess my story's different. Also regarding mental illness, my mother was delusional and paranoid at times and could be scary and nasty. Sometimes she thought we were out to get her. She accused me of beating her up in her sleep. When I said she'd wake up if that happened, she said not if I drugged her with my allergy pills.
I to don't have much communication with my family. It's sad that I'm only thought of when someone needs money. I've come to the conclusion that I need to know how to say no. I live about 9 hours from my family. In the 14 years I've lived here I may have had visits 5 times from different family me6.their excuse...I hate the drive! If only they knew how much i hate the drive but make the effort so i can see them and their children and grandchildren. It hurts but I've learned to live with it. I have a big house and plenty of room for visitors and stay in the house with the hope of them visiting. Come spring my husband and I are going to downsize, I can no longer stay in a big house i don't need with the hope of family coming. I have 5 brothers and sisters and never have any of them picked up the phone just to say hi. I will continue to make the trips back home because the love I have for their children and grandchildren.
I've suffered mental illness most my life, and my whole family disowned me and never gave me a go once I got it under control, they treat me as if I'm still 18 not 48. Some people can't see beyond the past! Instead of living for the furure it's very sad, I miss my neices and nephews who have now been poisoned by all the negative comments made about me and I miss how close my sister and I were😢
Soo agree. All tho I left em all to dust they think I need them, think I’ll keep my distance becos exzistance is difficult for em, allwaze one whim has to receive shit part lol ain’t gonna be me
Maybe some should look at themselves in the mirror on why they're being shut out by family..Selfish acts, or doing terrible things to your children/parents..You may think you're innocent..but maybe you favored a sibling and took complete advantage of that child. Drugs, Alcohol, Gambling, all play a role..So take a good hard look before playing the victim!
Thanks To Our Doctors telling them if we don't file suite to detach from us. It's called tough love. The Mother and step father threw my sin to the streets when he had a bipolr reaction. I call it, child abuse....
I was completely abused starting very early in childhood. My dad hates females and would sexually and emotionally and physically abuse me. My brother followed suit and did the same hateful abuse towards me. During our older adult years I forgave them and tried to have a relationship with them....lo and behold found out I was being betrayed again. They were gossiping to my boyfriend saying horrible things behind my back. My sister stopped talking to me too..I am alone. I am trying to stick close to Jesus as these things hurt bad. I just keep wondering how I can live the rest of my life with no family and no friends. It's hard. Horrible. But I am trying. I can't wait to go to Heaven. Life is too hard.
True..when family member become rich they treat the poor family member not as family..not even a friend..they just treat them as somebody they know..so sad
This pisses me off. It was sent to me by a family member who doesn't reach out herself. I'm ALWAYS the one who has to extend the bridge of communication. Always. Then I get this as some sort of virtue signal.
So true but it hurts like hell
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